SURVEY RESULTS: MEN WHO SEE SEX WORKERS

Thank you to everyone who answered my survey for men who see (or who want to see) sex workers. Fifty-seven men responded to 27 questions covering demographic, behavioral, and emotional aspects of men who engage with sex workers. As you will see, the stereotypes that society attributes to purchasers of sex services are completely false.

To gather responses, I shared this survey on my social platforms including X and Facebook. I also advertised it on a popular classifieds platform and collected responses from many wonderful men who were willing to share their experiences and feelings. I promoted the survey in my weekly newsletter and shared it with male friends and clients.

THE RESULTS

• Respondents were predominantly between 35–64 years.

• Annual income ranged from $44,000 to $150,000+.

• Most common responses to: “What is the hardest part about being a client of sex workers?” were:

• Fear of judgment.

• Secrecy and stigma.

• Financial challenges and guilt.

• Main reasons listed for seeing sex workers:

• Companionship and intimacy.

• Freedom of expression.

• Relief from chronic loneliness.

• For what was missing from their lives, respondents frequently mentioned:

• Connection and companionship.

• Romantic relationships.

• Feeling understood or loved.

• Although the majority of respondents said they had *not* fallen in love with their favourite sex workers, there were a small proportion who admitted to having developed significant emotional attachments.

• Some of the most favourite reasons for seeing a sex worker were:

• Atmosphere of safety and acceptance.

• Specific activities or forms of intimacy.

• Freedom to explore desires without judgment.

• When searching for the right provider, respondents’ priorities included:

• Energy and attitude.

• Physical appearance.

• Specific services or kinks.

• In reference to kinks, many described preferences such as:

• Dom/sub dynamics.

• Specific sexual activities or emotional roles.

• Nonjudgmental exploration of desires.

• When asked if they ever felt ashamed for seeing sex workers, their responses were:

• No: Many expressed appreciation and acceptance.

• Yes: Some felt societal or personal guilt.

• Mixed: “No, but I feel guilty about spending money.”

• Common fears about engaging in intimacy with someone who is not a sex worker included:

• Rejection or judgment.

• Performance anxiety.

• "Fear of doing or saying the wrong thing," "Weight or appearance concerns."

• The majority of respondents admitted to feeling generally lonely or lonely in certain areas of their lives.

Demographic Differences in Responses

Age:

• Younger respondents (under 35):

• More likely to report being single and inexperienced in intimacy outside of seeing sex workers.

• Frequently cited loneliness and a desire for connection as primary motivators.

• Middle-aged respondents (35–54):

• Often noted balancing the experience with societal stigma or marital secrecy.

• Frequently cited a desire for physical intimacy and freedom to explore sexual preferences.

• Older respondents (55+):

• More commonly mentioned appreciating companionship and emotional connection.

• Some expressed less concern about societal judgment and a focus on "uncomplicated" relationships.

Marital Status:

• Single respondents:

• Loneliness and lack of romantic relationships were dominant themes.

• Reported higher levels of social anxiety or fear of rejection in traditional dating.

• Married respondents:

• Highlighted challenges with secrecy, guilt, and balancing family life.

• Some sought out services to explore desires unmet in their marriages.

• Divorced respondents:

• Focused on reclaiming intimacy and connection after previous relationships.

• Showed less apprehension about societal judgment compared to married counterparts.

Income:

• Higher-income respondents:

• Reported visiting sex workers more frequently and indicated preferences for tailored experiences or specific kinks.

• Felt less guilt about the financial aspect but still struggled with secrecy or judgment.

• Lower-income respondents:

• Expressed more concerns about financial constraints limiting their visits.

• More likely to cite a need for occasional companionship or emotional intimacy.

• Those with ED:

• Found sex workers provided a judgment-free environment to work through their challenges.

• Emphasized gratitude for the support and understanding they received during sessions.

QUOTES

I always love to share quotes directly from the survey. Here are some of them, grouped by theme:

1. Loneliness and Desire for Connection

• “I don’t want to feel like I’m invisible anymore. She looks at me like I matter.”

• “It’s not about the sex; it’s about the connection I can’t seem to find elsewhere.”

• “I’m not lonely in a crowd, but I’m lonely in my heart. This fills the void, at least for a little while.”

2. Fear of Judgment and Stigma

• “The hardest part is hiding it. Not because I think it’s wrong, but because I know others will think it is.”

• “I wish society would stop pretending men like me don’t exist or that we’re monsters for seeking this out.”

• “Sometimes I feel ashamed, but then I remember: everyone’s needs are different.”

3. Erectile Dysfunction and Performance Anxiety

• “It’s not that I can’t; it’s that I’m scared to try outside of this safe space.”

• “ED isn’t the problem—it’s the fear of being judged for not being perfect.”

• “I don’t feel rushed or pressured. She lets me take my time, and that makes all the difference.”

4. Emotional and Sexual Preferences

• “I’ve never been able to talk about my kinks without fear until now.”

• “Being with her is the only time I feel seen for who I am, not just what I can do.”

• “It’s not just about sex—it’s about the freedom to explore what I want without shame.”

5. Barriers to Intimacy

• “I’d love to meet someone naturally, but my confidence is shot after my divorce.”

• “It’s hard to trust that someone likes me for me and not what I can provide.”

• “Weight and age make me feel invisible to women in dating. With her, I don’t have to worry about that.”

6. What They Value in the Experience

• “She listens without judgment. I don’t get that from anyone else in my life.”

• “It’s the only place I can let go and just be myself.”

• “For a little while, I’m not a broken man. I’m just a man.”

7. Gratitude for Sex Workers

• “She’s the reason I still believe in kindness.”

• “I’m not sure she knows how much she’s helped me heal.”

• “This work is more than just a transaction—it’s a lifeline for men like me.”

8. Miscellaneous Insights

• “I only wish I’d found this world sooner. Maybe I wouldn’t have spent so many years feeling worthless.”

• “I know it’s unconventional, but it’s the most honest relationship I’ve ever had.”

• “The shame isn’t in what I do; it’s in how society makes me feel for doing it.”

The quotes really get me. They are the reason I find my work rewarding and why I am so committed to helping people feel more connected, loved, and fearless. I’m sincerely grateful for every single man who took their time and shared their innermost feelings with me in this survey, enabling me to share it with all of you now.

What I’ve learned is that there is an epidemic of married men in sexless marriages and men in general who are struggling with loneliness and lack of connection. Many find solace in the arms of sex workers. From the comments in the survey, despite shame and guilt, the majority of respondents have valued highly the emotional and physical intimacy they’ve experienced with sex workers.

The moral of the story:

Men are suffering and sex workers are helping them to heal.

You’re welcome.

 Love Annie xoxo

PS. Reach out to learn more about my Christmas promotions. From massage coupons to erotic audio performances, there’s something for everyone!

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