ASK ANNIE: HOW DO I GO ON?

At a recent speak, a woman asked me essentially: "How do I go on?" She had experienced a terrifying trauma that had resulted in her losing everything. She asked me, "What would you tell someone who is afraid to try anything because she fears losing everything all over again?"

I know that feeling of losing it all. When I was suddenly disabled by a pharmaceutical in 2008, I lost everything. My job, my marriage, my ability to walk up stairs or dance, the luxury of having a clean house, my working memory, my position as chair of a parent committee at my child's school, my dignity in the face of condescending doctors. Every moment of every day was excruciatingly difficult and every activity was a torture.

In my case, there was nothing left for me to do except get better. If I couldn't heal from my disease, then I didn't want to be alive. Therefore, I had to believe I could heal. I had children to live for. I had no choice but to go on. But I could really only go on if I believed that it would get better.

And it did get better. I kept searching for ways to improve my symptoms and over time, they improved dramatically. I can dance again. I have a life again. Most days are not spent in pain and struggle, but with glorious gratitude that I can take advantage of every moment.

But I didn't tell all of this to the woman who asked me this question: "What would you tell someone who is afraid to try anything because she fears losing everything all over again?"

I said: "To begin with, I would tell her that losing everything has proved to her that she can survive anything. It has shown her how strong she truly is and that she is able to handle anything, even losing everything.

"Next, I would tell her that she should be more afraid of what she'll lose if she doesn't try anything. She will lose the countless possibilities of joy that she could embrace. She will be a shell of her potential self."

When I lost everything, I started to understand that the time I may have left to pursue my dreams is limited. I thought maybe it was past and I had missed it. But with hope and determination, I overcame many obstacles because I wanted a chance at life again. I wanted to really live like I had never lived before.

I didn't tell all of this to the woman who asked me the question either. But I've thought often about her since that day. If I could go back in time, I would tell her to manifest her inner Dominatrix, with emphatical catchphrases like: "Go live your purpose!" "Do something!" "Be someone!" "You are a sexy Goddess of Love Energy – now go heal the world!"

I might have also told her about goals because do you want to know what makes me really horny? Going after my goals. Achieving my goals is great but the fulfillment of achievement is not what makes me wet. What gives me a rock hard lady boner is the striving; the excitement of trying. Trying is the spice of life. We must be willing to try everything and fail; over and over again. It's an incredible way to live.

Will there be hardships? Will we be devastated and might we lose everything? Yes. Always, yes. Life would not be life if it didn't include pain and sorrow. But the pain and sorrow will be worth it because the joy, love, passion, and connections we experience will outweigh it all.

I guess the gist of it is that life is fucking short. We must live it while we can. Each and every one of us has a spark of life within us that can set our souls on fire. It's up to each one of us whether we nurture that spark into the blinding flame that it is meant to be.

I think you should blaze, Beautiful. Blaze!

Love Annie xoxo

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