SURVEY RESULTS: WOMEN WHO DATE MEN
Scroll down to view the answers to this question
I want to sincerely thank all 24 of the women who responded to this survey. As you will see, the results are eye-opening and I’m truly grateful to be able to share this information with the world.
The majority of respondents (over 50%) were between the ages of 45 and 54 with a scattering of women 18 - 44 and over 55. Fifteen respondents were divorced or single and eight were in relationships. Ten were current or former sex workers and thirteen had never been sex workers.
The demographics are important because we get to see the range of experience between women of varying life experiences and then see how they match or differ. Read to the end to see the differences in responses between sex working women and those who have never worked in the sex industry. I’m sure you will be as fascinated by the results as I was! So, let’s begin …
Survey Resulsts for Women Who Date Men
Question: "How important is physical attractiveness to you? On a scale from 1-10 how 'hot' does a guy have to be to get your attention?"
Average rating: 6.3/10 Range: 3-8
Notable quotes:
"5 - ambitious, financially stable, working, kind, respectful, intelligent, caring, nonjudgmental of others, affectionate, confident"
"8 - Intelligence, good conversation, good in bed and lasts long, is interested in me as a person"
"3 - Kindness"
Question: "Have you ever fallen for a guy who didn't get your attention with his looks right away but you began to notice him when you got to know him?"
Results:
Yes: 21 respondents (91.3%)
No: 2 respondents (8.7%)
Question: What are the qualities you look for in a man when you are assessing him as a potential partner?
Most commonly mentioned positive qualities:
Intelligence/Smart
Kindness
Humor
Financial stability
Respect
Quotes:
"ambitious, financially stable, working, kind, respectful, intelligent, caring, nonjudgmental of others, affectionate, confident"
"Financial stability, funny, nice penis, protective, kind, generous"
"Truthful, real, sincere, funny, happy"
"Must be a very nice person"
"Intelligence, good conversation, good in bed and lasts long, is interested in me as a person, is independent, caring, fun"
"His ability to support me, and let me be free to be myself"
"Integrity, maturity, intelligents"
"Is he funny, kind, smart, has hobbies, adventurous, great at communicating, conscientious, has goals that he pursues, keeps a clean home, saves money, takes care of himself"
"Strong, Funny, Kind, Dangerous, Loyal"
"funny. respectful to me and people around him. passionate about his own interests"
"Honesty, integrity, intelligence and heart"
"How genuine they are"
"Empathy Humor sense of curiosity and self improvement responsibility for health and well-being Thoughtfulness Intelligence Creativity"
"Positive, friendly, polite, happy, generous, shared interests"
"Willingness to put in effort"
"Funny, sincere, honest, well spoken"
Question: What are the qualities that turn you off?
Most common turn-offs:
Poor hygiene
Arrogance
Disrespect
Controlling behavior
Negativity
Quotes:
"addiction, jealousy, insecurity, whining, complaining, no job, aggressiveness, disrespect or unable to control emotions, shit talks people, not good with my kids"
"Poor hygiene, (he must smell nice and have regular dental cleanings), racism, cruelty to animals, living with parents, violent tendencies"
"Arrogance, selfishness, pride"
"Arrogance, entitlement and self-centeredness"
"Narcissistic, selfish, aggressive, needy, uneducated"
"Monogamy, controlling"
"arrogance, vulgarity, judgmental, poor hygiene"
"Ignorant, dismissive, hot-tempered, womanizer"
"Disrespect, controlling, negative, anger or jealousy/insecurity"
"wanna be gangster. rude to others especially his family. overly obsessed with money"
"rudeness, cologne"
"Egotistical, self-absorbed, lack of humility"
"Bad Hygiene, Lack of education, poor grammar, small package"
"Judgmental narrow minded bad hygiene or cleanliness Addiction jealousy"
"Hypocrisy, backstabbing, rudeness or judgmental"
"Emotionally vacant, narcissistic, passive aggressive"
"Negativity, anger, cheap, impolite, conceited"
"When they try to control me"
Question: How should a man approach you if he wants to get to know you? Should he ask for your phone number? What would make you comfortable and maybe even excited to give a man your phone number?
Common themes:
Preference for conversation before asking for contact info
Social media connection before phone number
Emphasis on respect and genuine interest
Importance of feeling safe
Quotes:
"I will probably add him to my socials before I will give him my phone number. That way I can check him out online first and see what he posts and how he interacts with people to get a sense of him."
"I mostly meet guys on dating apps. If they send a nice message that's cute or funny, I might give my number. If in public, if he buys me a drink and he's cute I'll invite him to sit with me and then if I like him and feel chemistry I'll exchange numbers."
"Connection, of the mind first: Talking, laughing, sharing."
"Just start chatting generally, get to know me, be interested in me, be charming, polite and respectful. He gets my number after he's invested a good amount of time doing this."
"Ask me questions to get to know me. Show interest in me. Not be touchy or ask for my number right away- big turn off. Give me time to trust you to give that"
"Approach with confidence but without being demanding"
"he could act like he wants to get to know me as a person"
"Having a decent conversation before asking for my number- time to connect and both showing interest"
"Confidence is attractive N mysterious/thoughtfulness"
"he should be happy and carefree. just be himself and not worried about how i am perceiving him. not touchy. give me space and room to breathe!!!!! ideally he would look clean and put together"
"speak to me, let's have a conversation"
"Ask literally just ask, can I talk to you can I sit here can I buy u a drink can I walk u home etc"
"Confidant yet humble, well dressed, well spoken, funny"
"Not treating me like an object, over sexualizing, or fetishizing me, talking to me like a person"
"Compliment or genuine conversation"
"They should propose an activity we would both enjoy. He should probably give me his number first."
"Simply ask to spend time with me, yes asking for my number is fine, I give it quite easily."
Question: What do you generally find yourself thinking about during sex?
Most common thoughts:
Staying present in the moment
Body insecurities
Partner's enjoyment
Love for partner
Performance anxiety
Quotes:
"How much I value this moment of intimacy, and how much it's not given away lightly"
"What does he like, how does he feel, what does he feel confident about, what does he not feel confident about"
"I think about how hot he is and how much he cares/loves me"
"Honestly I am still learning about what makes me tick now being a post op trans woman, I have many thoughts about what is going on with my body, but right now, I just try and stay in the moment and search my body for the new sensations I am experiencing"
"Focusing on my experience and sometimes fantasizing in my head if needed to provoke orgasm"
Question: How do you feel about porn?
Responses:
Positive/accepting: 43.5%
Neutral/conditional: 30.4%
Negative/deal-breaker: 26.1%
Quotes:
“I used to perform in porn and it doesn't actually turn me on to watch it. I'm more tactile and need to have orgasms from physical stimulus. Like clitoris, gspot stimulation. Visually I just want the guy whose getting me off to be hot.”
“i think to an extent it’s fine. if a man NEEDS to watch it every day to feel a certain sense of relief it can become a problem and they become detached from their own real life sexual experiences.”
“any and all....it sexy!!”
“I like it but not big on it”
“As a retired sex worker, porn reminds me of the clients with cocaine and coke dick who had porn on the big screen. Makes me feel annoyed and exhausted. Also had a partner who would prefer porn to making an effort with me. So yah... I have a negative opinion but it's not a deal breaker if they're discreet.”
“Pref for it to b minimal”
“It's unreal expectations and a sense of having to do things pornographically in order to satisfy one another.”
“It can be fun to explore each others' kinks”
“I am a voyeur of sorts. Likely why I watch porn myself”
“I dislike the majority of porn video because it’s not good or interesting. I do however enjoy written erotic”
“I make porn. Some of it I would enjoy watching and some I wouldn’t. I enjoy porn when it’s sexy time but don’t have any in king to view it otherwise. I’d hope my partner was comfortable with me making it & was only interested in it at appropriate times as well”
“I will not date men who objectify women period , as a SW I deal with many of this type of men , I do not want that in my personal life”
“I love porn, and watch some pretty niche specific stuff”
“I am fairly judgey about what kind of porn a person watches, especially if it focuses on very young, thin people.”
“I think that porn has changed a lot over the past 15 years, I have heard a lot of genuinely positive stories from women. I personally enjoy lesbian and gay porn.”
“Although I enjoy porn I believe men watch porn for the wrong reasons and therefore don't want to be with a man who watches it.”
“I don’t need porn, I have a creative imagination. hopefully my partner is creative as well & doesn’t need it.”
Question: In a healthy relationship, how often do you want to have sex?
Most common responses:
3+ times per week (39.1%)
Every day (26.1%)
1 per week (17.4%)
Other/No answer (17.4%)
Quotes:
“Once per week is bare minimum for mental/emotional health and to feel connected. I could do more if I was in the mood.”
“everyday is ideal but sometimes you are simply too tired hahahha”
“Every day with a partner 1-5 times a day”
“Depending on stage of relationship, hormonal fluctuations, other activities... Could range from once a month to 3+ times in one day.”
“Love it daily”
“I prefer to please my partner daily; letting him into a world full of women who would be willing to satusfy him when we haven't makes me want to pleasure him more so he won't be tempted. It's good at home.”
“Often when the mood and chemistry are right”
“1-3 times a week”
“depends on how much is currently going on. Sometimes we do it many days in a row”
“I have a high sex drive and would engage in some activity daily as available.”
“Sex drive has decreased in peri menopause and body image has changed”
“in a healthy loving relationship sex should be on the table its food for your body mind and soul”
“I am a pro sex individual and kinkster, and I live the lifestyle fulltime”
“I find that my sex drive can go dormant if I don't put the effort in”
“I like it often but it has to be the right setting”
Question: Would you date a man who has erectile difficulties including hardness and climax challenges?
Yes: 52.2%
No: 21.7%
Maybe/Unsure: 26.1%
Question: Would you date a man who has premature ejaculation challenges?
Yes: 65.2%
No: 34.8%
Question: Does penis size matter to you?
Results:
Matters: 43.5%
Doesn't matter: 56.5%
Notable quotes:
"If it is too big or too small, then yes"
"for me it is like shoes, I want a good fit"
"Preference for big but not deal breaker"
Question: What makes for a good lover (sexually)?
Common themes:
Communication
Attentiveness
Focus on partner's pleasure
Patience
Connection
Quotes:
"One that wants to make me cum.”
“pays attention to your body and desires. ideally puts me first.”
“a gentle touch...being aware of my responses”
“Communication, giving and receiving, being in the moment, stamina”
“Feeling safe physically and emotionally. Focus on my pleasure with patience and awareness of how I'm responding.”
“Caring and courageous”
“Someone who doesn’t fantasize about other people, someone focused on us right now”
“Attentive playfulness and curiosity”
“Open communication without embarrassment”
“Confidence , good in bed. Smell...love a good smelling man”
“Generosity. One who ensures a partners pleasure in addition to their own, someone who has been practicing! Communication.”
“Attentiveness, being in the moment”
“Getting my orgasm”
“I don’t know if I forget or never knew lol. I imagine being responsive and inquisitive. Paying attention to cues of what works or doesn’t, being willing to try new things but without being inconsiderate of my comfort”
“Someone who gives more than they receive”
“open adventurous loving and kind empathetic and highly attuned to my partner”
“Deep connection, and attention to detail”
“Effort! Willingness to learn”
“Someone who is invested in foreplay”
“taking time, lots of tease, able to build a connection before the actual sex part”
“Caring about what they are doing and asking consent”
“good communication and loving"
Elaborate about anything to do with sex.
“I want to feel safe and secure, about everything. Sometimes a drink or 420 to take the edge off”
“Ability to communicate openly is key.”
“Sex is a time when you can be free and expressive”
“Sex is great! I enjoy casual sex with like-minded friends & group sex. As a single person, sex with just one other person is not very stimulating for me; I believe I’d feel differently if I had feelings for the person though.”
“I am a sex positive person and love to play and explore, for me it is all about connection, a deep meaningful connection it what makes it all that more amazing. I have spent many years in training my body for all and any situations sexually but without a connection there is no spark”
“I like to receive body massages with a nice body oil. I love the process of building up my sexual energy before I'm penetrated.”
“i won’t do anal or eat ass”
Question: What is your general opinion of men?
Results:
Balanced view ("good and bad like women"): 47.8%
Positive ("love and appreciate men"): 30.4%
Negative/Distrustful: 21.7%
Quotes:
"I know they're mostly all cheaters but I still love them.”
“for the most part i am not comfortable with them. i do not want to live with them (unless my partner) i dont wanna talk to them unless necessary. generally i can sense the vibe of them off the bat and that will determine if i will engage with them but ive had many many bad experiences its hard to trust them”
“I feel that while there is a lot of love in my heart for men that I know... I don't like how society expects the weight of a relationships and emotional health to fall on women. I will always have caution around new men even if there is a good gut feeling. I will definitely ask other women if they have had bad experiences with a man I'm considering. Any man who rolls their eyes at a reasonable safety step or insists that they are one of the good ones so I don't have to do whatever will never be considered again. Automatic deal breaker. At my age in life they better have some female friends and exes they are on good terms with. And they better have some understanding on what it means to be a woman in this world.”
“I think they have a hard time changing yet women are expecting to be very flexible we have to evolve and they get to cry about the way the world is evolving I’d like them to man up and join us instead of fighting all the time”
“Back into the world of dating after being in church for 28 years was very eye oopening! Yuck.”
“I like older men because they've had enough experiences (hopefully) to know what they like and what they are willing to put into it”
“whew...so much to say. It has changed as I have aged”
“I am a bit of a tomboy so have always felt comfortable with men.”
“I always seem to be skeptical at first and guarded until I can figure out if I think they are genuine”
“I know there’s good ones out there but I don’t think I’m the kind of person they would be attracted to, or I don’t know if maybe I only feel drawn to bad ones.”
“I think men are great. I love feeling into my feminine energy when I’m around men”
“They are like candy in a candy store , but also I have to remind myself they are like women they have feelings and not just egos”
“I have had really bad, and really amazing experiences, and to he honest as and explore man I have had alot worse experiences with women”
“A good man can make me feel really special inside”
“I don’t trust them but I don’t hate them"
Question: Why do you think some men cheat?
Common themes:
Insecurity
Opportunity
Unmet needs
Entitlement
Biology/Evolution
Quotes:
"They have a sex drive unlike women. It is hard for most of us to understand that”
“Needs not met in relationships. Not ready to be monogamous but trying anyway. Some are just inconsiderate and selfish.”
“Insecurities, boredom”
“They all do”
“Generally I think it’s because they’re inconsiderate. I think if it’s a lack of something at home have the courtesy to communicate, if that doesn’t work then have the courtesy to let the partner go and find someone compatible to them.”
“For some I think it’s variety; something different. For some I think they have a partner who they love but who isn’t willing to perform certain acts with them or they do it poorly and it’s something that they’ve had in the past or fantasized about having so they seek it out.”
“because they are too cowardly to go life alone , and they are objectifying women and like to have their cake and eat it too mentality , it si greed born of scarcity and insecurity , they could sta single and have all the women they want but they tie up a womens love and play single for a variety of reasons , and love to dress it up and admirable”
“Cheating sucks in my personal life, but as a sex worker i kinda have to be a little indifferent”
“Because they are trying to preserve relationships they feel they need to be in to maintain their status in society but they have needs that aren't met in those relationships.”
“I think men cheat when they have the opportunity”
“They are insecure and weak.”
“I am the one they are cheating with.”
“All kinds of reasons but impulse control is the biggest”
“Insecurity and lack of purpose"
Question: Are there rules to dating that men should understand? If so, what are they?
Common themes:
Communication
Respect
Honesty
Effort
Chivalry
Quotes:
"Just call and stop thinking about it”
“If there are rules, I want the list!”
“You have to stay your priority , he either brings something to the table or he is taking , try to find a partner that you both have balance of give and take”
“Open honest communication, in every situation is the first and foremost important thing for me, everything else is up for negotiating after that, NO LIES, anything that breaks that bond is the ending for me”
“Put in effort”
“give me respect at all times”
“Women have all the power.”
“always apologize with $$$ and learn how to give good massages"
Question: How open-minded are you when it comes to kink? For instance, if the man you loved told you he wants to wear women's underwear in the bedroom or try using a butt plug while he has sex with you, how would you react?
Results:
Very open/positive: 65.2%
Somewhat open: 21.7%
Not open: 13%
Quotes:
"I'm super open to most kinks"
"i am completely comfortable with that.”
“sure, i am happy to play....not every time though...sometimes I want it my way”
“Sure!”
“Depends on the kink.”
“Open to a point safety and comfort and consent”
“Nope”
“I’d be open to exploring his fetishes”
“Fine with me”
“Open to it!”
“I love exploring new kink. Once I feel comfortable with a lover the sky is the limit!”
“That’s fine, I’m open.”
“I'd be open to trying new things he'd enjoy”
“yes, to a degree”
“I think it would depend on the nature and longevity of the relationship. Assuming someone I love is a relationship I feel safe in I think I would be open to exploring their needs. I do think there are different categories of love, so I may love someone without feeling completely safe to explore new terrain, on the other hand maybe that new fresh uncertain place is where trying new things feels like less of risk of changing the established dynamic.”
“I’m very open minded - being ok with kink is a pre-requisite for dating me!”
“that’s a little extreme , sounds Bi sexual ... role play , light BDSM , but I have my limits”
“I am a straight up hard core kinkster”
“Very open, but I don't like being used as a kink dispensing machine just because I have that knowledge and skill. I dont like dating people who want me to Dom them all the time be cause I do that for work and in my personal relationships I like to Switch”
“If it could be done in a context that was respectful of my pleasure, I would consider it”
“I would be fine with most kinks but it would depend on how hardcore it is.”
“No thanks”
“Totally open”
“I would think it’s funny and maybe try it before i shut it down but butt stuff does scare me"
Question: What is the biggest mistake men have made when trying to date you and why did it turn you off?
Common themes:
Poor hygiene
Lying/dishonesty
Being too pushy/aggressive
Poor communication
Being controlling
Quotes:
"Bad hygiene, being cheap, being selfish in bed, violence.”
“acting nonchalant or making me feel dumb and like my opinions were always wrong”
“smothering, being too clingy....i just need to be free”
“Trying to touch me right away”
“Secrecy about other partners Secrecy about me. Plans getting derailed cause of drugs and alcohol. Eyerolling.”
“Talked negatively about ex’s rude to staff political conversations too early on”
“Overtly coming on sexually strong.”
“Being too pushy/ needy”
“Being arrogant, entitled and self-centered”
“Not hygienic enough”
“Dishonesty”
“Being inconsiderate or rude with service staff. Bragging about anything. Making assumptions about my interest.”
“Lying about petty things.”
“lying about other relationships”
“Being too lovey too soon. My low self esteem makes it so if someone is too fond of me, I doubt their honesty and their judgment. ‘If you like me that much, there must be something wrong with you’”
“Not matching my energy or interest level. Being too “vanilla” or too “thirsty” I’m not excited to have to explain the why’s of my kinks and fetishes to someone who has no understanding or experience with it. I’m also not excited to have to constantly say “down boy” if he’s too eager. If in either case, they lose their cool, it’s a turn-off”
“try to buy me , its gross, pretend to be a friend for over a year then try me with I have always liked you BS , its gross , like they are either insecure or they do not get that friends is just that just friends , there is not get out of the friend zone free card , I do not have sex with my friends”
“Lie to me”
“Expecting me to Dom them all the time. It seems to usually come from a place of laziness and lack of creativity.”
“Over indulgent men who can't manage their impulses.”
“being negative or judgmental. I want to enjoy life, not sit around complaining about it or putting other people down. that's the shittiest life I can imagine.”
“They were poor. I need a man who earns.”
“Trying to control or change me”
“lying. inconsistency. being disrespectful. coming on too strong."
Question: If you designed a dating school for men, what are the main subjects that you think men should learn about?
Most recommended subjects:
Communication skills
Hygiene
Understanding women
Emotional intelligence
Sexual education
Notable quotes:
"hygiene, presentation, phone etiquette, love making skills, how to understand women"
"Chivalry, how to compliment women, women's anatomy and how to make her cum"
"How to be a good conversationalist, how to have great manners, and what really matters in a relationship"
Notable quote:
"yes, but I would try to change his unhealthy ways lol"
Question: What are the most important lessons you've learned from dating men?
Common themes:
Trust must be earned
Communication is key
Actions speak louder than words
Everyone is different
Safety first
Quotes:
"Most just want sex. Ha! Surprise!”
“if they hate their mom. they will hate you and make you be their mom”
“Men are diverse, intersectional and complex....no 2 are alike...my journey dating men has allowed me the privilege to fall in love many times...men have needs, men are vulnerable, men...even the tough ones, need love and support...”
“You can't always trust everyone. Work with how they make you feel not what they say or you wish they would do. Use the first few months to judge how you feel about their natural behaviour. For me personally, trying to force an attraction with someone who sounds good on paper never works out. I'll know within the first or second interaction if I'm gonna end up romantic or friendly. Sometimes the actions of yourself and the man have completely different intentions. Don't make assumptions. Let them initiate hanging out most of the time. Put your friends and family first. They have to earn an integrated place in your life. Don't have a fling unless you could picture yourself enjoying a meal in public with them. Don't have a serious relationship unless you knew they would be supportive if someone you loved died or you became ill.”
“Touch feels great so do compliments when a man goes out of his way for you w the little things the world is easier to live in and it makes me a better person there’s a very positive trickle down affect”
“No two are alike.”
“You need to be gentle with them.”
“Never assume you are his only one”
“Don’t try to rush into a relationship”
“Be true to yourself no matter what. You don't have to settle, and you're in charge of your choices”
“The depth of my insecurities”
“Men can surprise you! They may have more insight or perspective on a situation than you’d expect sometimes & to allow them the space to express that!”
“that they are pretty simple, the sane ones at least lol”
“Still learning”
“That people will fake interest in a relationship to get access to (free) sex”
“They are completely clueless when it comes to understanding women.”
“They all suck. Sometimes it just takes longer to see it.”
“never trust or rely on a man & most men cheat"
WHAT THESE RESULTS TELL MEN WHO DATE WOMEN:
First Impressions & Approach
Focus on Hygiene and Presentation
Basic hygiene is consistently mentioned as crucial
Dress well and maintain good grooming
Don't overdo cologne (several women specifically mentioned this as a turn-off)
Approach With Genuine Interest
Start with genuine conversation rather than immediately asking for contact information
Show interest in her as a person, not just her appearance
Be confident but not aggressive
Accept that she may want to connect on social media before giving her phone number
Communication & Behavior
Prioritize Quality Communication
Be honest and direct
Listen actively and engage in meaningful conversations
Show genuine interest in her thoughts and experiences
Maintain regular contact without being overwhelming
Show Emotional Intelligence
Be open about your feelings
Handle rejection gracefully
Avoid complaining or negative attitudes
Don't trash-talk exes or others
Demonstrate self-awareness
Respect Boundaries
Understand that safety is a major concern for women
Don't push for physical contact too quickly
Accept her need to verify your background/social media
Respect her pace for physical and emotional intimacy
Relationship Development
Build Trust Gradually
Actions should match words
Be consistent in behavior
Show reliability and dependability
Be honest about your intentions and relationship status
Show Effort and Investment
Plan thoughtful dates
Remember important details
Make her feel special and valued
Put effort into both emotional and physical aspects of the relationship
Intimate Relationships
Focus on Mutual Pleasure
Communicate openly about desires and boundaries
Pay attention to her responses and needs
Be patient and attentive
Don't rush intimate moments
Focus on connection rather than performance
Be Open to Learning
Ask about preferences
Be receptive to feedback
Show willingness to improve and adapt
Don't take direction as criticism
Common Mistakes to Avoid
Behavioral Red Flags
Being controlling or possessive
Showing excessive jealousy or insecurity
Being disrespectful to service workers
Coming on too strong too quickly
Being inconsistent or secretive
Communication Errors
Talking only about yourself
Being judgmental or negative
Avoiding emotional topics
Making assumptions about her interests or desires
Important Qualities to Develop
Personal Characteristics
Kindness and empathy
Sense of humor
Intelligence and curiosity
Financial stability
Emotional maturity
Relationship Skills
Active listening
Emotional availability
Conflict resolution
Patience and understanding
Ability to be both strong and gentle
Remember
Physical appearance matters but is not the most important factor (91.3% of respondents had fallen for someone they weren't initially physically attracted to)
Most women value emotional connection over physical attributes
Being genuine and authentic is more important than trying to project a specific image
Women often prioritize feeling safe and respected over other qualities
Different women have different preferences - there's no one-size-fits-all approach
The survey shows that women are generally looking for men who can balance strength with sensitivity, confidence with humility, and independence with emotional availability. Success in dating comes from genuine effort to understand and connect with your partner while maintaining your own personal growth and development.
Comparative Analysis: Sex Worker vs Non-Sex Worker Responses
Total Respondents: 23
Current/Former Sex Workers: 10 (43.5%)
Non-Sex Workers: 13 (56.5%)
Key Differences in Responses
Physical Attractiveness Rating
Average importance rating (1-10):
Sex Workers: 6.1/10
Non-Sex Workers: 6.5/10
Views on Porn
Sex Workers:
More polarized views
40% express strong negative opinions
30% very positive
30% neutral
Non-Sex Workers:
More moderate views
70% neutral or accepting
30% mildly negative
Relationship Communication Preferences
Sex Workers:
Prefer more boundaries between personal/professional life
More likely to emphasize clear communication
More specific about relationship terms
Non-Sex Workers:
More traditional communication expectations
Less structured boundaries
More flexible with communication styles
Trust and Safety Concerns
Sex Workers:
More explicit about safety requirements
Higher emphasis on verification and screening
More likely to mention boundary-setting
Non-Sex Workers:
More general safety concerns
Less specific about verification methods
More traditional dating safety approaches
Views on Men
Sex Workers:
More complex/nuanced views
Often separate "clients" from "dating partners"
More likely to mention understanding male sexuality
Notable quote: "They wake up with a boner every day. Each cum is filled with millions of sperms. Evolution made them this way for the survival of humanity."
Non-Sex Workers:
More traditional perspectives
Less detailed analysis of male behavior
More likely to express simple positive/negative views
Financial Expectations
Sex Workers:
More likely to explicitly mention financial stability
Clearer boundaries about financial expectations
More emphasis on independence
Non-Sex Workers:
Less explicit about financial requirements
More traditional views on financial roles
More flexible about partner's financial status
Approach Preferences
Sex Workers:
Strong preference for online/social media first
More emphasis on verification
More structured approach to meeting
Non-Sex Workers:
More open to organic meetings
More traditional dating approaches
More flexible about initial contact
Views on Kink/Sexual Openness
Sex Workers:
More specific knowledge about kinks
Clear boundaries between work/personal preferences
More detailed discussions of consent
Notable quote: "I am completely comfortable with that. Being ok with kink is a pre-requisite for dating me!"
Non-Sex Workers:
More general views on sexual openness
Less specific knowledge about kinks
More traditional views on sexuality
Deal Breakers
Sex Workers:
More specific and detailed list
More emphasis on respect for their work
Stronger boundaries about certain behaviors
Non-Sex Workers:
More general deal breakers
More traditional relationship concerns
More flexible boundaries
Dating Rules
Sex Workers:
More structured approaches
Clearer boundaries
More emphasis on explicit communication
Non-Sex Workers:
More flexible rules
More traditional expectations
Less structured approaches
Common Ground
Both groups strongly agreed on:
The importance of hygiene
The need for respect and kindness
The value of good communication
The importance of feeling safe
The need for emotional intelligence
Notable Patterns
Sex workers tend to have:
More structured approaches to dating
Clearer boundaries
More specific requirements
More detailed understanding of relationship dynamics
Non-sex workers tend to have:
More flexible approaches
More traditional expectations
Less specific requirements
More general relationship views
Conclusions
The main differences appear to stem from sex workers' professional experiences, which seem to lead to:
More structured approaches to relationships
Clearer boundaries between personal/professional life
More specific understanding of male behavior
Higher emphasis on explicit communication
More detailed safety requirements
However, the fundamental desires (respect, kindness, communication, safety) remain consistent across both groups, with the main differences being in how these desires are expressed and implemented in dating practices.
FINAL THOUGHTS
As you can see, women are vastly different in how we see view and experience men, dating, and sex. This survey shows that there is a lot more tolerance and acceptance for men than they may realize but it also shows that many women are struggling with the effects of bad experiences with men in their lives. I believe this is an issue for both men and women.
Results from the survey show that sex workers are much more likely to focus on good communication, boundary-setting, and avoiding men who don’t pass their initial screening process. I believe this is a reflection of our extensive experience with men, especially in the context of intimacy and sensual exchange. It shows that we are uniquely qualified to teach men how to be strong, supportive partners and meet the needs of the loves in their lives.
This is probably why I have made it my mission to help people feel more connected, loved, and fearless. If you’d like to further explore the topics presented in this survey, please reach out to me for individualized coaching. CLICK HERE FOR MORE INFORMATION.
Love Annie xoxo
PS. I want to know your reaction to this survey! Did you learn anything? Did it surprise you in any way? Please leave a comment below or contact me personally with your feedback. I appreciate it! annietemplexoxo@gmail.com