AFTER THIS, YOU WON’T BE ABLE TO HATE ME
Have you ever heard this saying? “If you think someone should do something, remember that you’re someone.” When one of my children says, “Mom, someone should clean the Brita jug.” I say, “You’re someone.” The reason I became an activist, started The Naked Truth, and call out bullshit when I see it is because someone should do those things and “I’m someone.”
During COVID, it became very clear to me that “someone” should do something about the crazy amount of division in our society. We are socialists vs capitalists; Left vs Right; male vs female; and it only gets worse. At the time of COVID, we were masked vs unmasked; jabbed vs unjabbed. I could go on and on and on.
Browsing my socials gave me anxiety because I didn’t fit neatly into any of the boxes. The division rhetoric was also beginning to reflect real life. Whereas before, divisive disagreements seemed to stay on social media; during COVID, people became horrible to one another in person. It got so that I developed anxiety every time I had to go into a public space.
But there was one safe space for me, where I felt like the barriers that divided us fell away. It was my massage studio, where I connected with people of every belief in a neutral space that I thought of as my “Discrimination Free Zone.” During my massage sessions, my clients and I celebrated our commonalities. We expressed understanding for one another’s life choices. We did not let the division in society mar the beauty of what we shared as human beings.
Those experiences with my clients taught me that division in our society must be healed through connecting one-on-one with each other. I may be “someone” but I’m only one someone. I asked myself, “How can I make a significant impact in helping to heal division?” I came up with many ideas, including being a vocal advocate for tolerance and unity, giving people respect no matter how different they are from me, and raising my children with the same ideals.
I thought that writing my memoir was another way I could help heal division. I’ve always loved reading memoirs. Reading a compelling memoir feels like a one-on-one connection. I thought if I could write my memoir in a way that was relatable for my readers, that a little bit of division might be healed that way too.
There will never be a society where we all agree on everything. There will never be a society where people don’t get hurt or judged or hated. It is said that hurt people hurt people. I’ve learned that living in hate and intolerance is a low energy state that does not serve me. It creates a divide rather than an understanding. Instead of hating a person, I try to understand the hurt that causes their behaviour. We need to take a walk in each other’s shoes.
Behind every person is a life story that brought us to where we are now. We have a human story that all humans can relate to. We have more in common with our enemies than not. Until we realize that, we will never heal as a society. But to heal, we must be open to experiencing real connections with people, even and especially people we don’t like.
It takes one person to heal a society; one-on-one, face-to-face. We all have the ability to heal ourselves and others through meaningful connections with our fellow humans.
When you read my memoir, you will understand every decision I’ve made in my life. Whether they are decisions you would have made or not; you will understand why I made them. Once you do, it will be hard for you to hate me. You will see how similar we are, because my choices are driven by the same motivations that drive us all. We are not so different, you and I. No matter how different our lives have been or how much we don’t agree on. The spirit in me sees the spirit in you. We are.
Now, that I got all spiritual on you at the end, please let me know if you love me or hate me after you’ve read my memoir. Either way, I’ll still love you. xoxo
Love Annie
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